Shenanigans
by Unformal Sorrelle
Summary: The continuing misadventures and happenings of the Avengers at Hogwarts. Chaos is assured, things are going to happen, and Headmaster Fury will definitely have to keep a watch on this batch of students.
1. What Makes a Slytherin

Shenanigans

_"What Makes a Slytherin"_

Year: 3rd

**A/N**: Ok, we all love to sort people into Hogwarts. Seriously. It's fun, we do it. This fic is kind of an excuse for me to sort the Avengers. And write about their various misadventures. The basic format for this is just going to be some loosely connected oneshots focused on different Avengers getting into different shenanigans. They're not going to be put in chronological order, and I might take prompts if you have any requests. My idea for this series is just for it to be nice and entertaining. No stress, just fun. Going from experience, most of these are going to end up being humor based, maybe with a little crack, with the occasional introspective chapter or even angsty bit shoved in. The "year" will always be by what the main Avengers are in, even if the focus is on Loki or Darcy for clarities sake. In this case, Natasha and Clint are in 3rd year and Loki is in 2nd. Also, I don't own what I don't own- you have been disclaimed. On with the fic!

* * *

The Odinsons were having a row again. Their father was the Minister of Magic, so this would have usually been paparazzi worthy except that it wasn't exactly a rare occasion. Ever since Loki had been sorted into Slytherin, Thor's rival house, the two had been pitted against each other. Sometimes they shrugged off house boundaries in favor of their blood but other times… It was a nasty business.

This time, Loki had went a little too far in pranking the house of the brave and Thor had taken offence. Loki, even a year below Thor, was better at magic then his brother and Thor was unable to remove the color changing curse on his hair. Most of the other Gryffindors had figured it out but Thor demanded that Loki himself take the spell off.

Loki, of course, didn't want to.

His fellow Slytherins had congratulated him and genuinely made him out to be some kind of hero. That was pretty rare since Loki didn't really have any friends. He hung out with his brother's but he didn't fit in with brash Gryffindors. Most of the Slytherins bored him and he spent most of his time in the library. Often, Loki wished he'd gotten into Ravenclaw like he'd wanted to initially. But no, the Hat just had to dangle greatness over him, and Loki wanted greatness. He wanted his father to see that he could take the family mantle in politics, to be interested in him. It hadn't really worked as Odin still referred to Thor as his successor, but Loki consoled himself by promising that he'd prove his worth someday.

Loki did wonder how long this rift would last. He was oddly starting to miss his brother. It'd be fine if Thor had kept getting after him but for the last few days he'd been getting the silent treatment. It was much more fun to snark and laugh at an opponent then to have him ghost away.

Now Darcy wanted to talk him into another prank- something strange that only a muggleborn could come up with. Loki found the girl… worrying. She was one of the rare muggleborn Slytherins and she sometimes seemed to be the only person in his year who would continually talk to him. She seemed to think they were friends but… it wasn't that Loki was really prejudiced but he barely understood what she talked about. She would jabber on, a mile a minute, and Loki would be forced to accept defeat. Muggle slang was not English, it just wasn't.

He was hiding from- erm, strategically avoiding- the girl in the Hogwart's courtyard, reading an advanced charms book wedged in-between the castle divider between the paved walkway and the grass. He was right in the middle of a particularly interesting variation on the tickling charm when he felt someone looking at him.

He looked up, expecting Thor or even Darcy, but instead found a rather intimidating red haired girl and a relaxed looking boy. They weren't wearing any house ties but Loki was almost positive that he'd seen the girl at the Gryffindor table.

"Are you ever going to take it off Thor?" The boy asked,

"No." Loki responded, slightly startled by the straightforwardness of the question.

"I see." The girl looked at the boy with a slight smirk, raising one of her eyebrows slightly.

"Let me guess, you want me to remove the curse from the oaf and if I don't you're going to make me regret it." Loki closed his book after a glimpse at the page number, 57.

The boy laughed, "Well Nat?"

"He's stereotyping too much. This is why I can't stand Slytherins and Gryffindors."

"Look kid," the boy leaned forward, "If we wanted Thor to have his _beautiful golden locks_ unmarred by the ever changing rainbow, then it'd be done."

"Then why are you here?" Loki felt a little of kilter between these two. He knew that they were older than him- none of them were in his classes. Though, the "kid" comment still got under his skin. They'd have to be around Thor's age, and a year wasn't that much seniority for that kind of disrespect. By "Nat's" comment about Slytherin and Gryffindor he assumed that they weren't in either, even if he was sure he'd seen her around the courageous idiots.

"You sure weren't cunning about it all." The boy completely ignored the question, "You took credit immediately."

"I don't have to explain my actions to you!" Loki protested hotly,

"Ambition." The girl nodded to the boy,

"This doesn't mean you were right." He shot her a grin, "True cunning hides. Just because we don't find any-"

"I wouldn't say that." Loki narrowed his eyes, "Taking credit for a deed doesn't necessarily mean that there's no hidden motivation for doing so. Just because you are too dull to take things at more than face value-"

"Thank you for confirmation." Natasha interrupted with a smile, "I have no doubt that you have some ulterior motivation for your trick. As hilarious as it is, you aren't the kind of person who just decides to have a laugh. However, it isn't very cunning to defend your pride. Clint, I'm sure my point's been made."

"Ok, ok. I see why you didn't get into the snakey house."

"Good."

Without another word, the two walked off, their steps synchronized with one others'.

What had that been?

Loki stared after them until they disappeared out of sight. Cunning? Ambition? Why had they just randomly tested him? Loki could kind of put it together, he assumed that they were seeing which Slytherin traits he had- maybe they had done this to others in his house as well- but for… proving why Natasha wasn't in Slytherin? What?

Maybe she was in Ravenclaw. The two certainly couldn't be Hufflepuffs. She may have taken a logical fallacy- because what if he had intentionally behaved like he had to hide his cunning? He hadn't but he could have!- but she seemed intelligent. Strange though.

He still didn't get the purpose.

* * *

**A/N**: Why did I put Loki in Slytherin? The ambition. I know it's cliché to put villains in Slytherin but in Loki's case it's true. He wants power, he think he deserves to rule. He has a reputation for being cunning, although I think that he doesn't quite perfect it until Thor 2. In Thor and Avengers he wasn't so much of cunning as complicated in a way. So the way I figure, 2nd year Loki would still have some work on the whole silver-tongued front and major league scheming. I considered putting Loki in Ravenclaw but even though Loki likes knowledge, he doesn't value it like he does power.

Any you may have picked up that Natasha isn't a Slytherin. She's certainly cunning but in the end I decided that it's the ambition factor. She just has never shown any desire for power, she's a survivor not a wannabe leader. In this Shenanigan, she was proving to Clint that, at the moment at least, the Slytherin house in far more full of ambitious people rather than cunning to show him why she didn't go snake. Plus- she's cunning! She would intentionally try to get in a house where she wouldn't be suspected. Natasha likes to appear as something she isn't and use that to her advantage.

I did put Darcy in Slytherin because well... it fit. Political Science major, and well- She's Darcy. She's not for-the-science, for-the-friends, or really Gryffindorish. I think she's ambitious and can be cunning if she worked at it. If she found it entertaining.

Anyways, any comments? Agreements or arguments with my sorting? Do you feel sorry for poor 2nd year Loki having to put up with Clint and Natasha? Reviews are great by the way. Just had to mention that. Yep... Thanks for reading!


	2. Sorting It Out Themselves

Shenanigans

_"Sorting It Out Themselves"_

Year: 1st

**A/N**: This is the sorting of Clint and kind of Natasha. You'll see.

* * *

Clint had met Natasha a while ago. He thought he was around eight when he had brought her home. Coulson had tried to find her real home but Natasha would never tell him anything about the past. She'd whisper bits to Clint but Clint would never tell her secrets. All Coulson needed to know was that her parents were dead and she needed a better home.

Clint had figured that since his parents were also dead, and Coulson had taken him in when he needed a better home, that Nat could stay with them. Being a grown up, Coulson took longer to reach this obvious conclusion but he eventually got there. Especially since Natasha was a witch, not a muggle.

They had never considered each other siblings, just like they had never considered Coulson their father. They both remembered their own parents and didn't feel comfortable giving the titles to anyone else. Clint remembered his brother and didn't want to connect Nat anywhere near Barney. Best Friend was far more complementary.

On the train, Natasha had grabbed them their own compartment. Coulson had dropped them off early so he could get to Hogwarts in time to prepare for the feast- he was the transfiguration professor after all- so the two had boarded the train while most of the other students were making gleeful helloes. As soon as the door slid closed she jammed it shut with her trunk in lieu of a lock. Clint pulled the curtains closed and the two had begun to peoplewatch out the window.

Eventually Clint had climb up to the luggage rack and lounged up there, taking Nat's gentle teasing that he just wanted to be tall. They both knew why he preferred high ground, they practically knew everything about each other, but they rarely acknowledged it. They preferred to joke around and distract each other from the past.

"Where do you think you'll be sorted?" Natasha asked, about an hour into the train ride.

"Wherever you go." He said, "Even if that means snakey Slytherin!"

"You would make a horrible Slytherin." Natasha shook her head, "You'd have to talk to people."

"Hey, I talk to people!"

Natasha gave him one of her looks. She was right. It wasn't that he was shy or anything, he just preferred to be at a distance. He hated getting close to others and watching them and- he was fine around Nat because he trusted her to watch his back and Coulson of course, but… He was working on it.

"Anyways, _B_arton, you're first."

That was true… He considered it for a moment.

"No I won't be. I just won't come in until after Romanov."

"Or I could just choose what you're put in." Nat countered.

"Yeah," Clint nodded, "You could, but now I really want to get a jumpstart on the tour."

"Ravenclaw and Gryffindor have towers."

Clint paused, thinking about it. Smarts or bravery. Hmm.

"You pick." He encouraged. He was hoping it wouldn't be Ravenclaw, he wasn't good at studying. Grasping advanced geometry in seconds, yes- but not actually working on things. He knew that wizarding school was probably different from the muggle school he missed but from what he remembered Barney going through… Clint hadn't ever considered himself a brain no matter what Coulson said.

But Natasha was smart. She was cunning. He knew that her background would allow her to go far in Slytherin. If she wasn't going to go green then it'd only be fair to go blue.

"Gryffindor might be best. At least they might understand your climbing on the ceiling thing." Natasha grinned. Clint let out a small bark of laughter, somewhat relieved.

They spent the next fifteen minutes discussing just how they'd prove their Gryffindorness. Neither of them worried about their plan failing. They had the faith of children in each other against the world.

…

Clint decided very early to split off from the main group. As soon as the train stopped and first years were being called watched from his compartment until Natasha boarded some kind of a boat with two boys. Then he wiggled out the window and followed the older students. They were all getting into carriages pulled by some kind of skeletal winged horse. Cool.

He quickly debated rather to sneak onto a carriage or just follow behind when he noticed an unhitched flying horse. Maybe it was friendly?

Slowly, he approached it, keeping careful watch around him for students and professors alike. Luckily for him, it was dark and he was wearing and the school robes were black which highly cut down his visibility. He remembered the circus ponies and clicked reassuringly at it, getting the being's attention. He didn't know if it was even trained for riding but he assumed that since it's brethren pulled carriages that it had some sort of training. He hoped that he could ride it bareback and that the past three and a half years hadn't dulled him. He figured though, that if he could ride a pony without a saddle and shoot at seven then he could ride a winged reaper horse without practice.

The creature was interested in him and didn't back up. He found where it liked to be pet and when the beast was calm, he swung himself up on it's back. The horse was startled but soon relaxed. Magical beings were more intelligent then they let on after all.

Clint directed it forward and it obeyed. In fact, the creature had a sense of humor and obeyed a little too well. Instead of trotting ahead, it decided to fly.

It was amazing.

…

Clint spent longer than strictly necessary zooming around on the flying horse that he had inelegantly nicknamed "Boney." He got to the point where he started trying to do tricks. Boney was more than up for it, liking the attention that wasn't often given for one of her kind.

The wind whistled past his cheeks and he wondered what all he could see if the sun was up. What he could glimpse was unbelievable, he already had the overhead shape of the castle committed to memory. Nothing could reach him this high.

His inner Natasha eventually reminded him that he did actually have to go down and get sorted. Coulson wouldn't be amused as it was. In fact, Coulson probably was going out of his mind with worry. As always, it was strange to think of this.

He landed inside of Hogwarts walls and found an entrance near where he'd seen the rest of the students enter. It took some wandering but eventually he followed his magical hearing aides to the loud Great Hall of Hogwarts. They were just sorting "Rogers, Steven" so Clint waited outside the door. Apparently, he was a fellow Gryffindor.

"Romanov, Natasha" was next and her sorting took longer than "Rogers, Steven". Clint was actually beginning to get worried when the hat finally confirmed that she could reside in the house of the brave. As soon as the "or" in "Gryffindor" was pronounced, Clint entered the large room with a smirk. He still stood away from the first year crowd but he was plainly there. Coulson noticed right away, giving him a raised eyebrow. Headmaster Fury also saw him. Great.

Deputy Headmistress Professor Hill continued reading the list of names alphabetically and when she finally reached the end Headmaster Fury stood,

"And since Mr. Barton has finally seen fit to join all of us, we have one more sorting to sit through before dinner. Phil, make your kid hurry up- You know what I'm like when I'm hungry."

Coulson gave Fury a look and called out in his calm and collected manner, "Clint Barton."

Natasha clapped from the sea of red. Clint focused on Coulson as he walked forward, the center of attention of hundreds. He sat down and Professor Hill placed the old hat on his head.

_Gryffindor, eh?_ The hat asked, Clint was sure that he could hear some attitude behind it's words.

_Natasha explained it all?_ Clint hoped that this was true and it hadn't just read his mind.

_You're certainly brave enough._ The hat ignored his query. _But you're also loyal- very loyal. I could put you in Hufflepuff. You would make friends there. Good friends. They would help you in ways that Natasha never could. You could finally heal, become normal._

_Natasha's enough for me. _Clint argued, horror gripping his chest. He couldn't go into Hufflepuff! He couldn't! _I wouldn't make friends. I'd ignore you. I'd go to Gryffindor anyways. I don't care._

_Well it sounds like you've already decided. _The hat sounded slightly offended, _I could put you in Ravenclaw, you know._

_No. I don't belong there._

_I'd sort you there if I hadn't just placed Mr. Stark there. Putting you two together would end up in chaos. _The hat seemed to sigh. Clint was sure it was just messing with him.

_I'm a daredevil who doesn't care about the rules- perfect Gryffindor material. I'll fit right in._ _Just sort me already!_

_Ms. Romanov was far more persuasive on your case, _the hat sighed again, _it's because of her that I'm saying _"GRYFFINDOR!"

"See, that wasn't so hard!" Clint whispered to the sorting hat.

Coulson came to take the hat instead of Hill. "We are going to have a conversation about where you were."

"Sorry Coulson." Clint slumped slightly, "But-"

"But, you've just been sorted and that's cause for celebration. I'm proud of you Clint. Very proud. When you sit down, could you tell Nat that I'm proud of her too?"

"Yeah." Clint agreed, smile back on his face- finally realizing that he was going to be able to stay with Natasha. As he sat down at the cheering table he didn't have a single regret. Coulson would probably chew him out tomorrow but it was worth it.

Though he did wonder, what _did _Natasha say to the hat?

* * *

**A/N**: So yep, I Gryffindor'd them. I knew that the two would have to share the same house from the get-go. If they didn't, then they'd end up ignoring house barriers anyways. I figured, that as a team, Gryffindor suited them the best. Natasha does admire courage and truth- you can tell that by the way she likes Steve. And there's no arguing that she's brave herself. Clint will fit in on the surface with the Gryffs, as he pointed out- he does do dangerous stunts, he does break rules, he is brave. But the two are mostly united by the fact of being survivors, which might not be a trait of any particular house, one could make the argument that they need courage to do so.

About their pasts- I kind of abbreviated them. I took what I knew from a few wonderful fics that I've read (that in turn are based on the comics which I've sadly never read because these two's backstory's are _amazing_) and compacted it. For Clint, he's orphaned at the age of four, spends a few months in an orphanage until his brother runs away to the circus, they spend a few years there until an incident with Barney gets Clint in the custody of Coulson when he is a few weeks shy of his eighth birthday. It's kind of ridiculously compressed but...eh.

Again, thanks so much for reading Shenanigans! Next chapter is probably going to be a comedy with Steve and Bucky, so I hope you'll look forward to that :D


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